Sunday, August 7, 2011

Acronym of the Day

Hospitals have an obsession with abbreviations and acronyms. Every hospital where I have worked or trained has had a list of unapproved abbreviations in order to facilitate patient safety. For example QD, used to state "once daily", could be mistaken for QID, which is "four times daily", or even OD, something to do with putting medicine in one of your eyes or some such thing. Somebody could theoretically get really discombobulated and give their patient their once a day med 4 times in their eye. Just kidding...hopefully that would not happen. But as you can see, that could get confusing, so writing out potentially misreadable stuff  makes sense in that whole "do no harm" kind of way. In times of yore, before the list of forbidden abbreviations existed, patients actually did get harmed from such confusion. Now that that's taken care of, we just have to worry about gathering round the chart and taking a poll on what the doctor has actually scrawled out in his or her funky handwriting.
But I digress. Hospitals and the agencies that oversee them really do love to make up their own abbreviations and acronyms. Some examples:
SCIP=Surgical Care Improvement Plan
CAT=Crisis Assistance Team
PCAT (pronounced "pee-cat") =Pastoral Care Assistance Team
and so on.
Our latest at my hospital is "OAT", which stands for Organization, Attitude, Teamwork. Our management came up with this gem in response to patient dissatisfaction with staff attitudes, "communication between staff members", and "timely response to patient needs". In other words, our Press Gainey scores are in the toilet.
Our managers are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying desperately to improve our patient satisfaction scores. All of our managers have started threatening staff with discipline if they have any unsatisfied patients. There have been loud chewing outs in front of other staff, and now actual firings of some pretty good nurses, who for one reason or another did not measure up to their manager's personal definition of "OAT".
So, I have created a new acronym of my own. I call it VOMIT, to describe the latest panicked attempts by the higher ups to fix our staff and resurrect our scores. It stands for:
Violent     Obnoxious     Mean       Intimidating     Tactics

Do you like it? Should it be vicious instead of violent? I wasn't sure.








Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I Don't Remember this one from Religious Studies Class

Each patient at my hospital has a demographic sheet in their chart. It lists their name, address, emergency contacts, etc.
Last week I glanced at a patient's demographic sheet and noticed an interesting detail.
His religion was listed as "Caucasian".




Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Ultra Cool

You can take the nurse out of the ER, but sometimes you just can't take the ER out of the nurse.  Check these out :
http://jalopnik.com/5823167/the-ten-coolest-ambulances/gallery/1

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Green Tea?

Last night our break room microwave had completely quit working. So, I ventured into the surgical waiting room to get some hot water for my tea. Some family members of a patient saw me and struck up a conversation. As I was heading back to work, they asked me what I was drinking. I told them that I was drinking green tea.
The woman literally turned up her nose at me. "Hmmph" she said and turned to her daughter "She looks like the kind of person who would drink green tea".

    ****What does that mean?****


Saturday, July 23, 2011

A Family in Need

Some friends of friends of mine are going through a very tough time. Their first baby was a big girl at 9.2 pounds. Her shoulder got stuck during delivery and caused her to have a prolonged, rough delivery. She had a lengthy resuscitation, including induced hypothermia. Madeline is responsive, but still in NICU, fighting for her little life. Her parents are by her side every day, so along with hospital costs, they are dealing with lost wages and their usual bills. At http://sommerfamilydonations.blogspot.com/ you can donate some money straight to her parents. 100 % of the money will go to them. I know most of you are probably solidly in the middle class like me, but even a couple of bucks would be most appreciated, I'm sure. If you are not able to donate financially please pray, chant, offer good thoughts, work on her aura, send good vibes, light a candle, whatever floats your boat. I can't even begin to imagine what this family is going through. You can read about Baby Maddie at the family's blog:
 http://babymaddiebelle.blogspot.com/

Thank you!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Really, Sir?

I did not realize that using a urinal was so complicated. My rather healthy young adult male patient assured me that he genuinely needed my assistance to urinate in the ubiquitous plastic container. He was not in any way paralyzed. He was not one of those males so obese that he needed help locating his penis. He simply wanted me to position and hold it in place while he used the urinal. That would be a no.
Of course he later used the urinal successfully all by himself.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Europe and the USA

Apparently this photo is from 2004, long before I entered the blogosphere. So, bear with me if you have seen it before. I admit that I do eat fast food sometimes. Working 12 hour shifts and shuttling kids to activities sometimes makes the drive thru  inevitable, but I can definitely appreciate the humor.