A Pain in the Butt

"As soon as I leave here I'm going to St. XYZ's ER. If they tell me something different, I'm gonna sue. I'm on Medicaid so I can go to every ER in this city if I want to".

-My ER patient, who was told that his hemorrhoid did not require immediate surgery, but was instead advised to try a 2 week regimen of topical ointment and sitz baths before a follow up appointment with the general surgeon.