Really, Sir?

I did not realize that using a urinal was so complicated. My rather healthy young adult male patient assured me that he genuinely needed my assistance to urinate in the ubiquitous plastic container. He was not in any way paralyzed. He was not one of those males so obese that he needed help locating his penis. He simply wanted me to position and hold it in place while he used the urinal. That would be a no.
Of course he later used the urinal successfully all by himself.

Europe and the USA

Apparently this photo is from 2004, long before I entered the blogosphere. So, bear with me if you have seen it before. I admit that I do eat fast food sometimes. Working 12 hour shifts and shuttling kids to activities sometimes makes the drive thru  inevitable, but I can definitely appreciate the humor.

Good Times

I was floated to the floor this week. This rarely happens, as I am an ER, Preop, and Recovery nurse with little floor experience. However, desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess, so off I went to take care of some inpatients.
A gentleman in his 80's a couple days out from neck surgery was having trouble urinating. I got an order to straight cath him, which I did. He put out about a liter of urine and was much more comfortable afterwards.
I returned a while later, asking him how he was doing. he informed me that he had been able to urinate on his own.
"Are you having burning when you urinate, Sir?" I asked him.
"No, Maam," he replied "and I can tell you I don't have VD."
"Well, that's good to know," I said
"But you know I had the clap once" he started reminiscing, smiling dreamily. "Actually I had it twice when I was in the army. Back in Japan, you know. Goop just started dripping everywhere. Come to think of it, I recall I had the clap three times. Those were some good times, I tell ya" .