Good Times

I was floated to the floor this week. This rarely happens, as I am an ER, Preop, and Recovery nurse with little floor experience. However, desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess, so off I went to take care of some inpatients.
A gentleman in his 80's a couple days out from neck surgery was having trouble urinating. I got an order to straight cath him, which I did. He put out about a liter of urine and was much more comfortable afterwards.
I returned a while later, asking him how he was doing. he informed me that he had been able to urinate on his own.
"Are you having burning when you urinate, Sir?" I asked him.
"No, Maam," he replied "and I can tell you I don't have VD."
"Well, that's good to know," I said
"But you know I had the clap once" he started reminiscing, smiling dreamily. "Actually I had it twice when I was in the army. Back in Japan, you know. Goop just started dripping everywhere. Come to think of it, I recall I had the clap three times. Those were some good times, I tell ya" .